When a mother consistently adopts the victim role, the child often grows up feeling responsible for her own feelings, frustrations, and unfulfilled desires. Through guilt, manipulation, and role reversal, the child learns to put the mother’s needs above his own, has difficulty recognizing his own personal boundaries, and comes to believe that his worth depends on how well he takes care of others. Because this dynamic is experienced as “normal” from childhood, it often takes years for it to be recognized as a form of emotional abuse and control.
The consequences of this pattern often follow the individual into adulthood, through chronic guilt, low self-esteem, difficulty setting boundaries, and a tendency to take on excessive responsibility for the lives of others. Even when adult children withdraw to protect themselves, the mother may present herself as the sole victim, avoiding acknowledging her own contribution to the relationship. Understanding this dynamic is the first step to freeing oneself from false guilt, restoring self-esteem, and creating healthier, more equal relationships.
The full article was originally published on the Psychology Portal – Psychology.gr.